Today I started the first day of Whole 30 with my sisters and sister in law. Without getting into the details of the eating program (You can learn more here), this is just another part of my journey to loving how I feel and look.

I’ve always struggled with my weight, and I have yo-yo’d like the best of them. I have 3 kids- all girls as you know by now- and I’ve been proud of the healthy ways that I worked to get back to my pre-baby form. In fact, since having my 1st born almost 8 years ago, I have learned so much more about food and fitness than I ever knew when I first got pregnant. And I’ve learned about my body’s response to certain foods too. After my 3rd born, I discovered that the best way that I could drop the weight, was to cut out mostly all grains and pretty much all white flour carbs (I gave up pretzels and don’t really miss them). A year ago at this time I was at my best shape and size and I felt awesome. And then I got lazy and overly confident and stopped tracking my food. I stopped working out as much, and I got a little carried away with my weekend wine indulgence. In short, I let myself go and I’m at a place I’m not thrilled about. I’ve known that I needed to get back on a strict regimen since the summer but just didn’t face the music until the fall. It’s been a few months now that I’ve been unhappy with myself, but the one thing I have never done was talk about it around my girls. At least not about the desire to lose weight.

What my girls see is that their mom is healthy and enjoys working out. They see me work out every day and try new exercises, but what makes the two different is that the exercise is a) something they enjoy doing too and b) it’s a way for me to model health habits without communicating the desire to lose as a result. I’ve been making a very conscious effort to keep my griping an venting for my husband and for my support groups on Facebook, who are other women going through the same ups and downs. I never once have complained about my clothes feeling too tight or feeling frustrated that I can’t just lose that last 10 pounds. All they see is mommy feeling strong, choosing healthy food and enjoying fitness. All this got me thinking about other things I say to them, knowing that other moms of girls are going through the same thing too. As someone who once was a little girl who wanted the approval of others and was always conscious of my looks, those comments that you don’t think are harmless can stay with kids forever. Below are some ways to talk about your fitness and wellness journey with your girls (or kids) in a healthy way:

“I workout because it feels great. I like being and feeling strong.”

“Fitting in exercise every day always makes me feel refreshed and energized. It’s just a regular part of my day like school is for you.”

“Eating well is important for our health. It’s important that we all eat well as a family.”

“I love food and when you eat well and real food, your body feels good too. Plus, it’s fun to try new things and recipes.”

“Just like you love to dance, I love exercising and trying new workouts. ”

Sometimes you just can’t avoid the conversation of weight loss:

“It’s important for me to watch what I eat so that I have energy to take care of you. And I want to set a good example of healthy habits for you.”

“Mommy has been working hard to get in shape by eating well and exercising. I love how I look and feel.”

“It’s great to feel strong and the weight loss is just an added benefit.”

“It’s important to do this for yourself and not because you’re feeling pressure to look some way from others.”

One of the best things about having daughters who love being active and love to dance, is that they love trying the workouts with me. I honestly believe that since I have never talked about my workouts as something I need to do to lose weight and instead treat it like something I enjoy doing, they get excited when I get ready for a workout. Sometimes they’ll do the moves with me, especially if it’s a Zumba video on YouTube set to popular music (Here’s one for Little Mix “Salute” that I love!). And they also love trying the strength moves too- like they did with me for a “photo shoot” for Fabletics.

What about you? How do you talk to your kids about your own weight loss goals?